


Why Sherlock is not a teacher

by ariales



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Gen, Prompt Fill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-03
Updated: 2014-04-03
Packaged: 2018-01-17 22:24:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1404769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ariales/pseuds/ariales
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sherlock tries to teach sex. In a preschool class.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Why Sherlock is not a teacher

**Author's Note:**

> Minifill written for a quote prompt ""Everything you always wanted to know about sex BUT WERE AFRAID TO ASK" from sherlockbbc-fic in lj. Originally written June 2011.
> 
> Unbetaed and silly.

"So when a man ejaculates ---" Sherlock is saying.

A small hand raises. "Mister Sherlock, what is e-hul-cu-ate?"

" _E-ja-cu-late_. Do learn how to properly enunciate a simple word, little freckled boy." Sherlock sniffs. "Ejaculate is the expulsion of seminal fluid from the urethra during orgasm... but frankly I'm quite surprised you still don't know these terms. How old are you?"

"S-Six," the boy answers timidly while the other kid behind him tries to mouth _ex-plus-what?_

"My God, you're six years old and don't know what ejaculate means!" Sherlock exclaims as he shakes his head and rubs his temple. "A simple word and you can't even pronounce it correctly!" He throws his hands in the air.

"I-I'm sorry?" the boy offers fearfully. 

"Well, I really shouldn't have expected too much, with what your funny little brains could manage to understand from a silly topic as sex."

The preschool students stare at him. Sherlock huffs and puts up his collar.

"As I was saying, when the seminal fluid is released inside the vagina ---that's _ejaculate_ for your dull, little minds ---"

"Sherlock!" John yells as he throws the classroom door opens. He grips at the doorknob tightly. "I told you to stay outside! What the hell are you doing here?"

"I'm teaching them sex education," Sherlock answers.

John looks aghast. "You _what_?"

"Yes. I do think it's time for them to know these things."

"Sherlock. They. Are. Six. Years. Old!"

"And after ten years, they'll be sixteen, horny teenagers and soon will be populating the world with their idiotic genes. Better for them to know this now than too late."

John is speechless. Sherlock turns back to his impromptu students and nods.

"And the sperm meets the egg, fertilization happens. The gender of the resulting embryo will depend on which type of sperm burrows into the egg, naturally. After nine months, a baby is born, hoorah. And that, boys and girls, is the story of how simple-minded folks like you came to this world." Sherlock rolls his eyes. "BORING!"

"Sherlock!"

Sherlock ignores John and instead, claps his hands together. “Now, who wants to talk about dead bodies?”

Brief silence. And then, fifteen little hands raise up in the air.

John facepalms.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I adore feedback.


End file.
